The Prayer of Examen

Briefly welcome the group & pray before eating. 

Welcome to life group! Life group is a safe, committed community to walk out our journey with Jesus together. Let’s pray and then eat!

Dinner Discussion (30-40 mins)
Usually dinner discussion will focus on reflecting on last week’s practice. Tonight, spend time first connecting with each other before diving into more focused discussion on last week's topic. Here are some questions to get you started. Encourage people to share, not report.

• Did you practice listening prayer this past week? How did those times change as the week went on?
• What was something encouraging God spoke during it?
• What do you think your greatest challenge has been / will be in this practice of prayer?

Vision & Prayer (5 mins) (optional)
This is to help transition into the night’s practice.

We’ve been going through practices towards becoming apprentices of Jesus. Our desire is to be intentionally formed into the likeness of Jesus for the sake of others. Tonight, we’re focusing on awareness of God’s presence throughout our day. We'll do this together by sitting in the prayer of Examen.

Let’s first pray over the evening again using this prayer from St. Ignatius of Loyola (the founder of the Jesuits) who shared the Prayer of the Examen as a specific practice.

Lord, teach me to be generous.
Teach me to serve you as you deserve;
to give and not to count the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek for rest,
to labor and not to ask for reward,
save that of knowing that I do your will.

Bible reading (10 mins)
Together, slowly read out loud John 17:20-23. Leave time after for reflection.

Here are some questions to think about while listening to the passage. This is not for discussion but for individual reflection.

• Which words or phrases resonate with you or your season of life at this moment? 
• What do I need to remember, sit in, or practice in light of the text? What does this mean for my life today?

Overview (5 mins. Read through this together.)

More than anything else, prayer is about being in active relationship with God. This includes the practice of all kinds of habits of communication by which the relationship is experienced, grown, deepened, and challenged. Prayer is not a distant, fuzzy connection with a faraway God but is a close, intimate conversation - face to face with a friend. Shifting our perception to pray this way changes everything in how we relate to God.

As our perspective shifts, we become aware of God’s nearness as a constant companion. We can then begin to Practice His Presence, as written by Brother Lawrence, in being intentionally aware of him throughout our days. In this continual relational awareness of him, prayer is not as much about “saying prayers” or as much about learning new “techniques” of prayer, as it is about doing whatever is necessary to deepen our friendship with God and making sure to set aside time daily to do that. However, learning from others how to do friendship skillfully, – and, in particular, friendship with God – and learning “techniques” or “habits” or “traditions” given us from the greatest of the friends of God, is still of great value. Some practical ways to do this are starting our days with thankfulness, using our mealtimes as markers for prayer, and ending in prayer before sleep.

We must also learn to do our relationship with God together – a regular practice of praying in common, encouraging one another, bringing everyone else’s spiritual journey into relation with our own. By doing so, we take heart through the faith of others, gaining knowledge and experience through what others share of their own relationship with God, and benefit from skilled leaders with a deeper knowledge of the Scriptures and of the ways of God with humans.

The Prayer of Examen  (10-30 mins)

Our practice this week is called “the Examen” or more fully, “an examination of consciousness” (note, it does not say conscience), or more playfully, “a rummaging through a day’s experiences, looking for God.” This practice has four steps.

Before we begin, remove any distractions that would keep this from being a focused time of practicing such as phones. Take a moment to quiet yourself to be fully present here and now. Be patient; let people have the time they need to get settled. This time to get settled is an important part of the process.

Step One: Review the day in your mind, with a focus on thanksgiving.

Notice where God has been active in the last few days of your life. Take a few minutes to practice active remembering of the last 24-72 hours.

• Find some moment, however simple it was or brief, when you felt grace in your life. Where did God “show up” for you? Alternatively, what moment can you choose gratitude over?
• Share in a single sentence or two with the group what happened and how you felt the grace when it happened. Everyone should share something. (Perhaps best to go around the circle.)

Step Two: Reflect on the strongest feelings you have experienced in the last few days.

This next step of active remembering is aimed not at “what happened” but it is about recognizing when and how you felt most strongly over the past couple of days.

• Which emotion in particular was activated strongly?
• Give a name to that particular feeling: joy, depression, anger, delight, contentment, hope, shame, regret, confusion, disgust, compassion, doubt, gratitude, etc. Use that emotion to “follow the trail” with Jesus about why you felt that so strongly; wondering about the cause and reasoning behind it.
• Briefly share with the group one example of a strong emotion you experienced. 

Step Three: Share just one of those strong emotions with Jesus.

• Be honest with Jesus about what “caused” this strong response in you, and try to name accurately which particular feeling it was that you felt. From that place, respond with Jesus about it - whether through intercession, praise, repentance, or gratitude.
• You can ask Jesus whether He ever felt this same thing, and the way that you felt it, when he lived and moved and had His earthly life among us. You may turn to a Gospel text, to a scene in Jesus’ life in which you think that He reacted as you did. Read that text to yourself and explore Jesus’ response. Was it like yours, or different? 

Step Four:  Thank God for being present to you in this practice and for helping you grow in your friendship.

• You may also use this to turn your attention to the day ahead and ask God for his perspective on it. Again be mindful of emotions or feelings that come up about the day.
• Allow these feelings to turn to prayer while laying the day before Jesus.

Practice for the coming week (5 mins. Read through this together.)

Each day in this coming week, set aside ten or fifteen minutes at the end of your day (but before you are too sleepy to make yourself attentive to the practice) to practice the Examen. Follow the four steps above.

If the four steps above are too in depth, here’s an easy alliteration to remember it by:

Replay - What happened today?
Rejoice - Where did I feel grace today? Where was God particularly present?
Repent - Where did I feel emotional pain today? Where did I sin?
Resolve - To live differently tomorrow, if need be. And sleep with gratitude.
 
Closing Discussion (10 mins) (optional)

Come back into smaller groups (3-4 ideally). Consider the following questions:

• How was your experience in the Prayer of Examen tonight?
• Do you understand the basic design of the practice?
• Do you think that this is just the kind of prayer that Jesus Himself would have practiced each evening before heading to bed? 

You might want to talk together about the best time to pray the Examen. The two most famous times are during the noon hour, or else sometime in the evening, but closer to the time when you head to bed – a way of “signing off” on your day in a fuller awareness of God having been with you in it.

End in a time of prayer, sharing short prayer requests if time permits.